The People

Many people around the place irrtate me, here is a select few.

The folks that take about half an hour to complete an ATM transaction. What is the bloody hold up? All you need is to enter your PIN number, select a few options, enter a cash amount and then presto! Money. Sometimes you may need an Account Balance before hand...sweet as, add an extra 30 seconds and it'll still take no more than 90 seconds. So what the hell is the hold up? Are these people trying to apply for a home loan on the ATM? Perhaps they are attempting to play "Funky Town" on the musical buttons? Or have they discovered a hidden gae of Pong? I propose a security guard with a rolling pin and a stopwatch monitoring slow ATM users to dish out a "hurry up" tap every 90 seconds.

People that greet you with "What do you know?" What sort of greeting is that? What do I know? I know lots...most of it useless facts, does the greeter wish for me to impart on him all of my knowledge? Perhaps I should carry around a book with all the pieces of information I have gathered over the years written down in it, The Encyclopedia Russtanica if you will. It would be a short book, with large lettering and lots of pretty pictures. Plenty of story line but not much in the way of a moral. There is no good answer for it either, the only answer I know that is remotely good is, "I know you are a twat for asking that question and thinking it is an appropriate way to say hello."

Celine Dion. I just really hate her. I saw her in an interview with Oprah (Come to think of it why the hell was I watching Oprah interview Celine Dion?) and everything the big O asked was answered in a way that'll make all the middle aged housewives in the audience, say "Awwww". Celine Dion you are a fake and a fraud and the world hates you.

Stupid protestors. In fact most protestors. I remeber when the world was all pissy about the whole "invading Iraq" thing, I was walking along a suburban Brisbane street and someone had sray-painted on the footpath "No War." Take that Saddam Hussein. What the hell was that meant to prove? I can see Saddam now, sitting in his palace when word gets to him, "Oh Allah...what have I done? Not the footpaths of Brisbane! Noooo!!" In fact, most protests are stupid. They always claim that the police have been too violent, yet there is normally two officers struggling to restrain one "peaceful" protestor, that too me looks like not enough force. What do thes people claim as suffecient force? Do they want the cop to knock them about with a teddy bear? Perhaps a Rock, Paper, Scissor duel would sort out who is boss.

Overly sensitive PC types. A good example of this took place here in Australia recently. A guest on a radio show who had been up all night at some awards dinner uttered the line "I feel like I've had sex with a black man." Maybe a little distasteful for breakfast radio but otherwise entertaining. He was accused of being Racist and Sexist for this comment. How? A spokesman for Rights for Gays organisation explained to the press the meaning of the comment, that it is a play on the common belief that black men have larger penis's and that's what made it offensive. I challenge anyone to offend a black man by telling him he's got a large penis. Actually you try offending ANY male by telling them their penis is big. And how was that being sexist? Should he have been up all night having sex with a man and a woman with no prefernce or bias towards either party?

You know those people that sue compaines for no reason. People that sue a coffee shop because they burnt their tongue sipping Java while driving, those people. But I don't hate them...well okay I do, but who I hate more...the people that award them these cases. Judges, Jury's and Lawyers are responsible for the increasing lawsuits, if they weren't so often succesful then no one would bother. Who in the world would agree with someone claiming that it was Nike that made them trip over their shoe laces, and not them and their useless shoe lace tying abilities. Prisoners sueing the Prison because their standard of living isn't good enough, it's not meant to be you lunatics! People are suing the AFL for getting hit in the head by balls during a match. Some fool is claiming that it was being hit in the head by an AFL ball that caused his brain tumour! Quickly someone get this blokes doctor to explain that the small useless growth in his head is not a tumour it is in fact his brain.

Paris Hilton. Why is she famous? Is it because she's rich? She's the Hilton heiress...daddy isn;t dead yet, she ain't got shit. She's pretty? She's a skanky anorexic...and what's the deal with the old squinty eye? She's famous for being famous...now that just doesn't make sense. I think she is famous for being the worlds most useless person. She sings-but she can't hold a tune. She acts-but she can't. Everyone loves her-did you notice anyone saying "Poor old Paris, I hope she is okay in prison"? All I heard was, "lock that bitch up," andhe'll get f***ed up the a** less. Unless she can be used for patching up the ozone layer, she is the worlds most useless person.

Glad I got that off my chest.

Technology.

I remeber a day when I use to laugh at older person for not understanding the simplist of technological of ideas, how to program a VCR (at least they avoided Beta), how to work a CD player, what exactly Windows is etc.

I would help out willingly but within my nieve little brain there was a little voice laughing maniacaly to myself saying, "Hahaha fools, this will never happen to me...NEVER!!" But alas I find myself fighting the tide of ever changing gadgets and new trends on the net. I mean look at this blog thing! What the hell is this, what does it do and why should anyone care about? I'm only doing this at the moment because I am bored at work. The whole concept of music/video downloads is a strange fish to me as well. Call me old fashioned (go on, I may as well get used to it) but I'd much rather go down to the local music or DVD store and buy a physical object that I can hold in my hand rather than save some mysterious file to my hard drive. It's almost a sense of achievement when you add another CD case to a dusty collection of audio visual impulse buys.

I'm about to enter the market for a brand spanking new TV. But whenever I mention this to anyone the first thing they ask is, "LCD or Plasma?" Too which I reply "Plasma." Then they invariably reply, "Blah blah blah blah bladdy blah LCD is better." So to the next person who asks I say "LCD". To which they reply, "blah blah fliminy blah get a Plasma." For the love of criminy can someone sort out the whole Plasma or LCD thing soon. As long as it is a massive TV that I can watch the All Blacks win the world cup on...I don't care. Don't even get me started on the whole High Definition thing. Too late I have already started.

From a casual observers point of view there appears to be too many variants of HD. There is your HD Ready, HD Tuner, Integrated HD, Fully HD, Built-in HD, Digital HD...the list goes on. Listen here Mr. Sony and Mrs. Panasonic and all of your TV making buddies lets make this simple, a TV should be either HD, or not HD. There, I just simplified the whole TV shopping experience.

As much as I love the look and sound of all the new gadgets, I do miss the days when the only thing you had to worry about upon purchasing a TV was the size.

That was my whinge for today.